


opera of the phantom

by mesoquatic



Series: abridged musicals [1]
Category: Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber
Genre: This is crack, i did this for a friend, i legit no nothing of phantom, its an abridged version of the plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-23 22:31:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16627649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mesoquatic/pseuds/mesoquatic
Summary: this is an abridged retelling of the plot.lots of yeeting, bad grammar, and patron guy





	opera of the phantom

Prologue

So this guy is like “hey yall wanna buy some old opera stuff” and this other guy responds with “woah what kind of stuff” and then the first guy is like “spooky stuff” and other guy goes “what kind of spooky stuff” and first guy goes “lemme stop you right here let’s talk about this in depth, man.”

Act 1

The opera house people are like lets act in this opera okay? okay. So they do, but this tech is like “woahhh there buds, there’s a curtain falling!!! watch out!!!” but the dumb main character is like “hah, I am fine! nevermind it tis a ghost! techs don’t exist.” The dumb person is then also like “hah, I am leaving! I can’t do the show! i hate falling things! you see i have this fear of constant things falling and it is crippling because everything falls because of this thing called gravity and gravity = phantom of the opera k? k.”

The people who run the theatre get spooked. How will they ever have a show now? Nope, here’s christine who someone is like “here is beautiful women she sing” and so she does and they’re like “welp, you’re in now. time to sell your soul to the theater, i guess?” but this patron guy is like not so fast i know you!!! you little beautiful women she sing,,,,,, you are my CHILDHOOD FRIEND>?>>????? :00000000

So they meet in the dressing room where christine is like “i can sing only because of this creepy guy from this alleyway somewhere” probably and the patron guy is like “woah, isn’t that like the story your father told us about???” and then she just is like “my dad is dead im an orphan how dare you” so he leaves

Christine then hears a voice and is like “is this an angel from my father who is probably in hell? Yes,,, it must be!” and follows it down to the catacombs and is now the dumb character of the story and rides a boat with a total stranger who may or may not be kidnapping her. he shows her a mirror and she sees herself in a wedding dress and she is like “hey, um, i am ugly. I am never gonna get married, heh” and faints

She wakes up later and yeets his mask off like who art thou that kidnapped me and then he is like gay panic and goes “i love youuu?????/” and then she just goes back to the opera house like she didn’t just get kidnapped. But like everyone else there is like??? Whomst??? Is???? Being???? A???? Bad???? Person??? And???? Sending???? Alll??? Theses??? Letters??? Threatening??? Us???

Even when they are threatened by the mysterious person, the people arew like welp gotta keep going and then the og dumb character is like OMG I WANT MY ROLE LEMME BE SOME PETTY GIRL and christine gets yeeted out of the main role so they do the show and then the phantom is like owo whats this???? You didnt???/ fowwow?? My request??? Owo???? And so they get christine into the main role from now one BUT THEN THIS GUY JUST YEETS ONTO STAGE FROM THE CEILING LIKE DID YOU MISS ME?????? And everyone done gets spooked as the phantom laughs like a giddy girl

Christine and patron guy escape to the roof and she is like sorry i know thius guy hes heckin creepy and then hes like welp lets get married and she says yes but as they go back in the phantom goes YEET and kicks that chandelier into the stage like the big boy he is

Act 2

So six months go by without any problems because they prob rehired all the techs and now the phantom just kinda went bye suckers later alligator but he shows up on stage in costume likes its nothing he is like hey boys gotta musical and the main character will be christine or i will haunt yall worse than before but then when he sees christine with an engagement ring he steals in and goes finders keepers losers weepers and yeets back downstairs. Some character who wasnt relevant before is like hey the phantom is a wonderful person who is like super smart and the nerdy guy and probably watched big bang theory but someone yeeted him into fire and thats why he is deformed (tragic back story unlocked)

Patron guy who is engaged to christine plans to use the premier of the musical thing to trap the phantom but og dumb caracter is like hey christine you did this all just to get the main role but convinces them all that she is also a victim before patron guy is like hey bud fiance gal we gotta trap him but then the phantom haunts the piano like hey i know you cant sing so stop

Christine is scared so she goes to her fathers grave and is like hey gimme some advice but the phantom is like oooOoOoooOO spoooOooooOOOOOoky im the angle sent by your father and she is like good,,,, ,friend,,,,, and then patron guy is like nope and saves her but they are attacked by fireballs???? Thats magic, mike

Christine is in the middle of her premier and realizes that shes singing with the phantom and like gets mad??/ i guess??? But then he forces a ring on her so she yeets his mask off again and he kidnaps her and takes her away to his secret lair in the secret cave in the secret underground catacombs

The opera house workers find the dead body of an actor backstage and then the nonrelevant character is like here patron guy go save christine and he heads down there. downstairs , the two are getting ready for their wedding and christine is just ready to leave tbh this isnt love this is abuse but phantom catches patron guy and is like if you love me i let him go but if you dont love me i will yeet him into hell but then she just kisses phantom randomly ike???/ stupid,,,,

But the phantom sets them both free and christine gives him back the ring and a mob of people go down there to hunt him down only to find nothing and the curtain falls

f i n.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: mesoquatic


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